Articles
Longer pieces, mostly written from things clients ask me repeatedly, grouped by the moment that brings people here. The newer ones are the letters I write on Substack, posted here the day after they go out. No signup, no gate.
A panic attack out of nowhere · Divorce and breakups · A partner who drinks, and sober curiosity · Business owners and the nervous system · What hypnotherapy actually does · Pain
A panic attack out of nowhere
Your body went off and you didn't see it coming, and you're not an anxious person.
What a Panic Attack Feels Like When You've Never Had One
Throat closing, heart racing, sick before the meeting. What happened to me, what the doctors found, and what I think is underneath it.
ReadOct 26, 2026Your Heart Is Fine. Here's What Actually Happened in That Meeting
The doctor says everything is fine. It happened again anyway. My understanding of what is going on with your nervous system, and the two options I would consider.
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Your Panic Attack Didn't Come Out of Nowhere
A friend got promoted to the C-suite and got sick the day he heard. The triggers I see, why the real one is usually weeks earlier, and what to do about it.
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Does Hypnosis Work for Panic Attacks? What to Ask Before You Book
The short answer, who is allowed to do this, where I stand, how I work, and the three questions to ask any provider before you book.
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In Therapy and It Still Happens Before Every Presentation
What it means for therapy to be working, why you try the other modality without firing your therapist, my own list of doctors, and why a win is a win.
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How to Teach Your Body It's Safe on Stage Again
The old triggers might fire again. What to do with the anticipation, the grounding exercise I give people in distress, and what I still do today.
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Why the Panic Attack Came Back, and What to Do Differently
You did the work and it came back. When did you last go to therapy, organise your day, tend to your spirit? Hygiene, and the hill I'll die on.
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The Panic Attack That Isn't Yours: Unattached Burdens, IFS and Hypnosis
Unattached burdens, what they are and are not, how I work with them, what my Soviet psychiatry professor said off the record, and the trap.
ReadWhy You Built the Business You're Afraid to Enjoy
You hit the number and still can't relax. On high-functioning anxiety, the insecure overachiever, and the support gay founders are missing.
ReadDivorce and breakups
The first weeks, the replays at 3 a.m., and why you cannot get over him.
Why Can't I Get Over My Ex? Four Reasons You Stay Stuck
Grief, identity, the unfinished conversation and the story you built about what the ending means — the four things that actually keep people stuck.
ReadGay Divorce and Demanding Careers
What happens when a marriage ends and the career that survived it becomes the only structure left. Part one.
ReadCan Hypnotherapy Help You Get Over a Breakup?
What hypnotherapy can and cannot do after a breakup or divorce — and why understanding what happened has not stopped the 3am replays.
ReadA partner who drinks, and sober curiosity
For the one holding the house and the business, and for the one drinking more than he wants.
Why You Keep Attracting Partners Who Drink
Successful, good at difficult things, and with a man who uses. The family role behind the pattern, and what is actually yours to change.
ReadAm I Codependent or Just Loyal?
Codependency is not a diagnosis. Healthy detachment that is not abandonment, what changes when he gets sober, and when leaving is allowed.
ReadSubstances, Addiction and Gay Relationships: What the Partner Needs to Know
What addiction is and is not, why nobody chooses a bottle over a person, lapses and relapses, and what the partner living with it can actually do.
ReadAlcohol, Gay Culture and Sober Curiosity
Why drinking is woven so tightly into gay social life, what sober curiosity actually means, and how to look at your own drinking without a label.
ReadSep 24, 2026I Was the Hero, the Scapegoat and the Mascot
Family roles in addiction, and how they follow gay and bisexual men into business and love.
ReadBusiness owners and the nervous system
Running a company with a brain that will not switch off.
Your Nervous System Is a Business Risk
One of the ways a business can lose a lot of money is when a founder doesn't know how to regulate their emotions.
ReadOct 18, 2026How Founders Stay Regulated When Nothing Is Wrong
Suffer a little less and enjoy your life a little more: how to maintain all the hard work that you achieve.
ReadOct 13, 2026You Know What to Do and You Still Don't Do It
Sometimes you're taking action and it's not actually working.
ReadOct 4, 2026When There’s No Light at the End of the Tunnel
Resilience: practice examples and story for founders who found themselves in the middle of the dark night of the soul and it may seem there’s no light at the end of the tunnel.
ReadOct 30, 2026I Saw Satan in a Dream. It Changed How I Handle Failure
When your business fails, your partner leaves you or you lose someone, you think you're not meant for this. No, that is not what it means.
ReadWhat hypnotherapy actually does
For the sceptics, and for people who have already done the talking.
Talk Therapy Didn't Work. Now What?
Why insight sometimes changes nothing, what that does and does not mean about you, and what to try when you have already done the talking.
ReadDoes Hypnosis Actually Work? What the Research Shows
What clinical hypnotherapy actually does, what the evidence supports, and the myths that stop people trying it.
ReadPain
Pain has its own site. One piece lives here.
Most of these started as videos
I put out a short video most weeks, usually answering something a client asked that week. Same material, less reading.
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