You are good at difficult things. This one will not move.
You are the one people rely on — at work, in your family, when something goes wrong. You have handled things that would flatten other people. And then there is this one part of your life that does not respond to competence at all: the man you love who is drinking, or the relationship that ended and took your sense of who you were with it.
Eugene Berezin, MA
Registered Hypnotherapist · WA #HYPN.HP.70073119
Most people arrive here for one of two reasons
You do not need to know whether you want hypnotherapy. You only need to know which of these is closer to your week.
Someone you love is using
You know how many drinks is normal for him and how many is tonight. You check the recycling. You have started managing your own face. You have become extremely good at a job you never applied for.
This one is me
Your marriage or long relationship ended
The grief you expected. What you did not expect was the identity going with it — the couple friends, the routine, the version of your future you had already spent. And the quiet worry that at your age it does not restart.
This one is meNeither quite it? See everything I work with — midlife, body image, and chronic pain.
They are closer together than they look
Both are about a role you learned to play, and what it costs when the role stops working.
If you grew up managing a household that needed managing, you got good at it early. You became the reliable one — the one who reads the room, absorbs the tension, keeps things running. Addiction professionals have a name for that role. It tends to follow people into their careers, where it is rewarded, and into their relationships, where it is not.
That is how a competent man ends up organising his life around someone else's drinking and calling it love. And it is why divorce so often lands not as sadness but as collapse — because the role was the identity, and the role just ended.
There is a hard link between the two as well, and almost nobody says it out loud: after a divorce, a lot of men drink more. Some of them turn into the person their next partner will be reading about on a page like this one.
Not advice you already have
You have read the articles. You know what boundaries are. The gap is not information — it is that knowing has not changed what you do at 11pm.
Clinical hypnotherapy
Focused, absorbed attention where suggestion actually lands — so the change happens under the argument rather than in it. You stay awake, aware, and in control the whole time.
Parts work, not overriding
The part of you that keeps checking on him has been protecting someone for a long time. Steamrolling it does not work. I am trained in Internal Family Systems, and most of the real movement happens by getting that part on side.
A recording made for you
After we have worked, I record a session built around your situation, your language and your goals. Yours to keep, for the nights when it is loudest. Not a stock download.
I have been on one side of this myself
I am a Registered Hypnotherapist in Washington State (#HYPN.HP.70073119) with a Master's degree in psychology and more than ten years in mental health — as a psychotherapist, youth counsellor, case manager and social work professional.
I also went through my own divorce. The part that flattened me was not the grief, which I had expected. It was the identity: a life that checked every box, and then the boxes were gone. I know what that specific silence sounds like, and I am not guessing at it.
I work in English and Russian, with a multicultural and non-pathologising approach — cultural humility rather than a checklist. Everyone is welcome. Nobody has to explain themselves first.
The questions people actually have
I am not sure hypnotherapy is the right thing. Can it actually help with this?
Hypnosis is not a truth serum and it is not a personality transplant. What it is good at is reaching the patterns that run underneath your decisions — the reflex to check his phone, the flinch when the front door goes, the story that says nobody wants you at forty-six. Those are not beliefs you can argue yourself out of, which is why insight alone so often changes nothing. Hypnotherapy works at the level where those patterns actually live.
Is this therapy?
No, and I am careful about the distinction. I am a Registered Hypnotherapist in Washington (#HYPN.HP.70073119) with a Master's degree in psychology and over a decade in mental health — but what I offer here is clinical hypnotherapy with integration and coaching, not psychotherapy. If what you need is therapy, or treatment for your own substance use, I will tell you and help you find it. The two work well alongside each other.
Do I have to be gay to work with you?
No. My practice is built for gay men because that is my community and the work is sharper when the cultural context is already understood. But nobody is turned away, and plenty of my clients are not gay men.
My partner is the one with the problem. Why would I be the one getting help?
Because you are the one who is exhausted, and because his using is not currently under your control — however much of your life has been organised around trying to make it so. This work is not about fixing him or leaving him. It is about what happens to you, and what you get back, whatever he does next.
What does it cost?
$250 for a 60-minute session. You send a request — no payment details there — and I reply within one to two business days with intake paperwork and a secure link where you pay and pick your time in one step.
Where are you, and does that matter?
I am in Washington State and sessions run online by secure video, so it mostly does not. I work with clients across the US and internationally, in English and Russian.
Not sure this is for you? That is a fine place to start.
Send a request and tell me what is actually going on. I reply within one to two business days with your intake paperwork and a secure link to pay and pick your time. No payment is taken at the request stage, and if I am not the right person for this I will say so and point you somewhere better.
Requests go to a secure, HIPAA-compliant SimplePractice form — no payment is taken there. Sessions are held online by video, worldwide.